Dirty Dozen
Cumbria Way Ultra 30 14/09/2019 Short version: 9th woman; 18th overall; 6:10:06. I am throwing up. This isn’t the first time I’ve vomited in Carlisle; Thursday nights in the Front Page during the late 1990s, where you could drink yourself blind on vodka for under a fiver, were more often than not to blame. There were a few sticky footed, tequila fuelled nights in Buskers that may have also ended in less than glamorous circumstances. I was not one of those clean living, athletic teenagers. However, this particular puking episode is happening on a cycle path on the outskirts of the city and has been caused by a rather less hedonistic tipple - namely chocolate soya* milk. More accurately, the ill advised combination of that and cola flavoured gels, which I can no longer stomach because it’s been a warm day and they’ve become deeply unpleasant as a result. That, coupled with the fact that I set off from Keswick almost 6 hours and 28 miles ago, and I’m a bit fucked. One last heave and I th